The Cassidy Chronicles
by Shinoda Senshi
Summary: She's short, cute, and a Jericho. What could possibly go wrong? *warning: contains implied slash*
1. Ready to Roll

**The Cassidy Chronicles**

**One - Ready to Roll**

"Let's go!"

It occurred to Chris not for the first time that his daughter – his precious Cassidy – might have been more than human. At four years of age, she possessed an octave range to rival an opera soprano. There was little doubt in his mind that the girl had inherited his husband's impressive strength. One bop from her tiny fist left a person seeing stars. Even as he attempted to strap Cassie into her car seat, Chris was certain the little girl was part octopus. All arms and legs.

"The sooner you get hooked up, the sooner we'll get going."

Cassidy Jericho found this response unacceptable. It meant her Daddy was doing something wrong. If they were ever going to get underway, she would have to take matters into her own hands. She was a Jericho, which meant she was capable of taking charge of a situation.

Resolutely, Cassie grasped the red cloth straps in her hands. "I do this." Two clicks later, she was buckled in and ready to rock. "Let's go see the puppy!" she excitedly exclaimed.

"And Uncle," added Chris.

Cassie clapped her hands. "Let's go see the puppy and Uncle!"

Shaking his head, Chris closed the door. He circled around the back of the car before climbing into the front passenger seat. "You think we should tell your brother that his only niece puts his dog before him?"

Kane chuckled, "Some days I like the dog better than my brother. At least the dog knows how to take orders."

"And hasn't tried to bury you alive," Chris added.

They pulled out of the garage, down the driveway and into the street.

"To be fair," said Kane, "I did burn his eyebrows off. It took over two months for them to grow back in fully."

"In the mean time, he had to pencil them in! Mark looked like Liza Minelli."

"An _angry_ Liza Minelli."

Cassie was bored. Entertainment was required. "Daddy!" she shouted. "Play my songs!"

If not for the shoulder restraint of his seat belt, Chris would have bashed his head on the dashboard. Repeatedly and with increasing intensity. Instead, he rubbed his temples in anticipation of the battle he was about to lose. "_Please_, Cassidy…"

On the subject of her songs, Cassie was unbendable. She turned to her Papa. "Papa, I wanna be famous!"

It wasn't that Kane had a problem denying his daughter. If anything, Chris was usually the first to fold. Cassidy could wrap the older Jericho around her finger like a rubber band. It was the dimples. The minute they popped out, any adult within a two foot range was a goner.

Turning to his partner, Kane said, "It's only three songs, Chris. And we'll be there before you know it." Lucky for them, a majority of their destinations were in a three-song radius. That was as long as Chris could last.

"But it's not even music!" Chris held his ground. "It's… It's…" His face crumpled in disgust. "Autotune!"

Between the whimpering in the backseat and the obvious discomfort of his husband, Kane had a tough decision to make. He pressed a button on the steering wheel. "Big Time Rush… Famous…"

The digital music kicked in, much to the delight of the littlest Jericho.

"_I wanna be famous… famous… Wanna be the one who's living the life…_"

Kane reminded Chris. "It could be worse… Be thankful she's not into Hannah Montana."


	2. Lucifer Rising

**The Cassidy Chronicles**

**Two - Lucifer Rising**

Lucifer raised its shaggy head. There was no mistaking the rumble of the motor. Or the owner of the high-pitched squeal.

She was back!

On its feet before the doorbell chimed, Lucifer took up a station beside the front door.

_Ding-dong… Ding-dong…_

The Master approached the door. Massive hand wrapped around the knob, he glanced down at his charge. "Are you ready for this? You got your mind right? Because all Hell is about to break through this door."

Standing on all fours, Lucifer remained alert.

Deadbolt unbolted. Lock unlocked. The Master granted entry.

"Puppy!"

Steel bars clamped around Lucifer's neck. Only the thick muscles and fur surrounding its throat staved off suffocation. This form of greeting was natural for the youngest of the Master's kin. Lucifer would endure. Because Lucifer was a good dog. And there would inevitable be treats and petting.

Cassie kissed Lucifer right between the eyebrows. It had been almost forever since she had seen her puppy. Actually, it wasn't _her_ puppy. It was Uncle's puppy. But Uncle belonged to Cassie, so it was nearly the same thing. "Oh, puppy, I missed you!"

Lucifer – the puppy in question – was a five year old German Shepherd-Rottweiler mix that outweighed the youngest Jericho more than two-to-one.

"And your Uncle," reminded Kane. "You missed him, too. You haven't seen him in over two weeks."

Running her fingers through Lucifer's fur, Cassie beamed up at her Uncle. Dimples popped. "I missed you lots and lots, Uncle! I give you hugs!"

Mark back up two steps. The last time Cassie had administered one of her jubilant hugs, he'd had to ice his knee for hours afterward. He and all who knew the child had adopted the phrase "Though she be but little, she be mighty."

Faced with the bone-crushing love of his only niece, Mark deflected her attention. "Hunter's in the kitchen," he said. "Go hug him."

At the mention of the presence of Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Cassie's grin grew so large, it threatened to fall off her face and crush Lucifer. Her bright blue eyes gleamed. Her dimples were two delicate points of perfection. If she suddenly sprouted wings and a halo appeared above her head, none of the men would have been a bit surprised.

Cassie release Lucifer. Spinning on her heels, arms outstretched like the wings of a plane, she bolted towards the kitchen. "Hunter!"

Off she went, in search of Mark's "friend".

"You know," started Kane, "there are days I wonder how much you love than man."

Mark shrugged. "I love him as much as I love the man who cost me my eyebrows."

"They grew back!"

"_Argh!_" A scream resounded from the kitchen.

The three men shouted, "The other leg!"

Lucifer turned and trotted to the source of the sound.

Hanging his and Kane's jacket in the closet, Chris noted, "I think she broke your boyfriend."

The three men walked towards the kitchen.

"Hunter's not some china doll," remarked Mark. "You'd be surprised the amount of punishment the man can take. Hunter is endurance personified."

Kane placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Please… Keep the details to yourself."

Rounding the corner, they came up short. Cassidy hung two feet off the ground. Upside down. Suspended by her ankles. Lucifer lapped at her fingertips.

Cassidy was ignorant to any danger. Her hair fluttered around her head like a cape. "Hunter's gonna make a wish!" she announced.

Chris came to his daughter's defense. "Hey, you break her, you buy her! And no refunds or exchanges."

Gently, Hunter lowered Cassie to the floor. Lucifer licked her nose. "How was the drive?"

Kane vigorously shook his head. He feared his husband's response.

Through clenched teeth, Chris sang, "_The city is ours, ours, ours… The city is ours…_"

"That's my song," chirped Cassie. "Daddy plays it all the time."

Cassie took an interest in Lucifer's tail. It was long and firm and covered in bristly hair that tickled her fingers. At that same moment, Lucifer was intrigued by the little lights on the sides of Cassie's sneakers. They glowed bright pink with every step she took. The two moved in a constant circle. Each chasing the other.

"It's not my fault." Chris lamented over his child's poor choice in music. "I tried so hard to teach her right from wrong. But I've failed her!"

Kane patted his husband's blond head. "You finished?"

"Yeah." Chris wiped a fake tear from the corner of his eye. "I think so."

"Then fix your face and act right."

Cassie cried triumphantly, "I got puppy's tail!"


	3. Hitting the Fan

**The Cassidy Chronicles**

**Three - Hitting the Fan**

"Hunter, pick me up! Hunter, pick me up! _Hunter, pick me up!_"

A gaggle of power-walkers turned their heads in the direction of the high-pitched voice. Four men and one dog surrounded what appeared to be… an elf. And a demanding elf, at that. On of the men – whose bare arms were blanketed in tattoos – threw them such a glare that the group quickly picked up their pace.

"Well," said Kane, "if everybody in the park didn't know your name, Hunter, they do now."

Ever the good-sport, Hunter hoisted little Cassie Jericho onto his shoulders. "You want me to toss you into the trees?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Cassie was all for it. She liked her Uncle's friend. Sometimes, when no one was around, he and Cassie played Skydive. Hunter would throw Cassie into the air as hard as he could. At the pinnacle of her ascent, Cassie would fling out her arms and Hunter would do his damnedest to catch her. Hunter hadn't missed yet. "Do it, do it, do it!"

Chris tugged on Lucifer's leash. "Sounds like someone's been spending too much time with Mr. Jeff."

Mr. Jeff Hardy owned and ran a local pet shop. Cassie, Chris, and Kane would visit the shop every Saturday morning. And for four months of Saturdays, Cassie had begged her parents to let her have a pet. Any kind of pet. A puppy, a kitty, a hamster or gerbil – she couldn't tell the difference, but they were both cute. She had not been receptive to her Papa's pet rock idea.

Ultimately, the adults caved. Which led to the purchase of an electric blue beta fish.

A startling realization sprouted in Cassie's brain. "We forgot to feed Meemo!" she exclaimed from atop Hunter's shoulders. "Oh emm gee!"

So thorough was her distress – and so piercing her proclamation – that even Lucifer took notice.

"What's a 'Meemo'?" questioned Hunter.

Mark had a more pressing inquiry. "Did my niece just say 'oh emm gee'? What is going on in your household, Kane?"

"Meemo is my fish," Cassie explained. "He is a very good fish. But not for eating. And we forgot to give him fishy food!"

Again an exclamation point. And again did Lucifer glance back to assess the situation. The smallest of its human companions appeared to be under some form of duress. Perhaps a proper face licking would soothe her.

"What's this 'we' business?" asked Chris. "He is your fish, little lady. Your responsibility."

Lucifer did not think it would be possible, but the youngster's face fell even further.

"But…but…but…" Cassie sputtered. "But I'm little!"

That was her usual defense. She couldn't keep after her toys because she was little. No helping Daddy put away the groceries because she was little. Yet she was not so little she couldn't polish off the Rooty-Tooty Fresh & Fruity down at the IHoP. Including the side order of scrambled eggs and bacon.

Mark folded his arms across his chest. "We have yet to address the oh-emm-gee occurrence."

As lovingly as possible, Hunter patted his partner's shoulder. "Let it go, love."

"This looks good," Cassie announced.

Cassidy's grand plan for the day was a picnic with her family. She loved picnics. Picnics and tea parties. Sometimes she could get her Daddy and Papa to join in the festivities of Yodels and Snapple Raspberry Iced Tea. And if she was really, _really_ good, Papa made strawberry shortcake. It was The Best.

Uncle had balked at the idea of a tea party. Somehow, he had gotten it into his head that tiaras and fluffy feather boas were involved. Sometimes Cassie found her Uncle quite odd.

Chris laid out the blanket on the grass. Kane handed him the picnic basket. Which was not so much a basket as it was the largest beer cooler Mark could provide.

"Down you go, kiddo." Hunter set Cassie down on the grass. "You're gettin' heavy, Cass. You been at those pancakes?"

Cassie plucked a blade of grass from the dirt. Pout perfectly puckered, she insisted, "I'm not heavy; I'm little."

"You're a little heavy," quipped Hunter, a smirk playing on his lips.

Lucifer took intense interest in the surrounding trees.

"I know that look," Kane said, regarding the animal's stance. "Lucy has got some business to take care of."

Mark grumbled, "The name is Lucifer."

"Says Lucy on the tag." The tone of Kane's voice was the equivalent of him sticking his tongue out at his brother.

Cassie stroked Lucifer's back. "Puppy has two names?" she asked the grown ups. "How come?"

The dog affectionately licked Cassie's nose. It reasoned that, when the child was not screaming or squeezing the life out of it, she really wasn't all that bad. And Cassie was an excellent ear-scratcher.

Chris decided to give his daughter a life lesson. "Because if you put the name Lucifer down on a puppy's registration, the folks at the shelter won't let you take it home."

All of their gum-flapping did nothing to relieve the pressure of Lucifer's full bladder. Immediate action needed to be taken. Throwing its shoulders into it, Lucifer tugged Mark towards the trees.

Kane and Cassie tagged along.

"What puppy doing?" Cassie watched Lucifer move from tree to tree, sniffing around each of the trunks. It was both intriguing and perplexing.

Kane explained, "You know how when we go out, Daddy and I check the bathrooms to make sure they're good? Well, Lucy is looking for a good tree. And… it looks like she found one! Look at the pretty clouds, Cassie!"

With the little girl's attention diverted, Lucifer got down to Business.

"They sure are fluffy today, Papa," Cassie noted. Fluffy clouds made for good picnic weather.

Mark pulled a plastic baggie out of his jacket pocket. The park had a strict policy when it came to owners cleaning up after their dogs. Mark always complied. Because the last thing he wanted was end up on the eleven o'clock news after stepping in some inconsiderate bastard's dog's shit and cold-cocking the guy.

"Hey, Cassie, you wanna pick up that poop for me?"

"Okay, Uncle." Cassie was always eager to help out her favorite Uncle.

Kane, however, was having none of it. "Clean up after your own dog, Mark. That's why Cassie's got a fish. All she has to do is change the water… Actually, _I_ end up changing the water. Chris has a thing about handling a living fish and Cassie would probably set poor Meemo on the counter and let him flop all over the marble. So the fish bowl cleaning falls to me."

"Aww, get your undies unbunched." Mark punched his baby brother lightly on the arm. "I was kidding."

That fact remained unclear to Cassidy Jericho.

"What now?" Clasped in each of her hands was a fistful of Lucifer's leavings. Even though it was super duper smelly, Cassie would prove herself to be a Number One helper. Then perhaps she could get a bunny to go along with her fish.

Kane did not know what to do first. Smack the crap out of his daughter's hand or beat the crap out of his moronic older brother. The main thing, he reasoned, was to keep Chris completely unaware.

In a calm, even voice, Kane commanded, "Put the poop down, honey."

Mark held open the plastic baggie; Cassie quickly complied. From his back pocket, Kane produced a zippered bag full of Wet Wipes. He proceeded to thoroughly clean his little girl's hands.

"What about the rest?" asked Cassie. A few pieces remained in the grass.

Uncle Mark intervened. "I got that, Cass. Don't you worry about it." He glanced at his brother. "You really got wipes coming out your ass, huh?"

"You're going to Hell for this," grumbled Kane. He attempted a confident smile for Cassie. "You can't tell Daddy about the poop. Okay, sweetheart?"

"Okay."

"It'll remain a secret between the three of us."

"Four," corrected Cassie. "You forgot the puppy."

Mark grinned. "Well, how about that? The kid knows her numbers."

Ignoring his brother, Kane continued, "That's right, Cass. A secret between the four of us. As far as Daddy knows, you absolutely, positively did not touch poop and you never ever will."

"Okay, Papa," Cassie beamed.

Poop properly contained and all traces removed from Cassie's hands, the foursome returned to their picnic area.

"Everything went smoothly, I presume," said Chris.

"Oh, yes, Daddy," replied Cassie." She moved to sit beside him on the blanket. "And I absolutely positively did not touch poop and I never ever will."


	4. Letting Sleeping Dogs Lie

**The Cassidy Chronicles**

**Four - Letting Sleeping Dogs Lie**

Hands down, the best part of Chris Jericho's day was nap time. For sixty uninterrupted minutes, he was capable of getting things done. Laundry. Running errands. Making sure the house was not drowned in tidal waves of ponies, cuddly puppies, and bears that never stopped caring.

A miracle had occurred. For reasons Chris would not question, Mark volunteered to spend some quality time with Cassie. Leaving the girl's parents free to do… whatever they liked.

"What should we do first?" Chris closed and locked the front door. "The carpet in the living room could do with a visit with the vacuum. Or we could finally put the garage in order. If I bang my knee on Cassie's bike one more time…"

Kane steered his husband towards the stairs. "Shower," he ordered. It was not a polite suggestion.

"No." Chris shook his head. "We tackled of the bathroom two days ago. I distinctly remember damn near doing the splits in the tub and having to yell for help."

At the top of the stairs, Kane grasped him firmly by the shoulders. In plain speech, he said, "I want you… In the shower… Now."

Chris blinked, blushed, gulped, and disrobed in under ten seconds.

Meanwhile, back at Mark's house…

"Hunter…"

"She's in the next room."

"Hunter…"

"She could hear us through the wall!"

"Hunter, the girl is asleep. Now come here so I can…"

The remainder of his sentence was swallowed by the squeak of bedsprings.

Contrary to what Mark believed, Cassie was not asleep. Despite the day's activities, she was not the least bit tired. The picnic itself, with sandwiches and juice and snacks. Then she had chased the puppy all over the park. And _then_ the puppy started chasing her.

Today had been a full and eventful day.

Uncle had declared Nap Time. Cassie did her best to comply. She'd closed her eyes. She'd rolled onto her tummy, which usually induced unconsciousness in less than five minutes. Nothing worked. She stayed wide away in the spare bedroom. Waiting for the noises of the house to settle down.

Sufficiently sure that no grown up was about, Cassie crept out of the room. Her sock-covered feet made no sound as she traversed the upper level of the house. When absolute stealth was required, Cassie could almost float about the floor.

The first door she came across led to the bathroom. Nothing of interest in there. The next door revealed a linen closet. Towels were folded on the shelf not too far out of her reach. After selecting a dark blue towel, she tied the ends around her neck.

Now, she was Super Cassie. So much better than ordinary, everyday Cassie. Super Cassie did not need to take a nap.

Cape flapping in her wake, Super Cassie scampered silently past Mark's bedroom. Down the stairs she scuttled. Her own personal theme music humming through her brain.

She discovered two things nestled beside the couch. Her purple pony backpack and a snoozing puppy. Cassie unzipped the bag. She rifled through the content, finally coming across the perfect item.

Grinning, Cassie glanced down at Lucifer. "Good puppy…"

Mark had Hunter down to his boxers when Lucifer came rushing into the bedroom. The dog launched itself onto the bed, landing beside its Master.

"What the hell?" both Mark and Hunter shouted in unison.

It took a few moments for the men to calm the animal down. Ultimately, they discovered the source of its distress. From snout to tail, Lucifer was covered in stickers. Pink. Purple. Blue. Fairies. Ponies. Hearts and moons and stars. Lots and lots of sparkle.

Mark repeated, "What the hell?"

A blonde head poked inside the doorway. A smile decorated her innocent, cherub-like face. As plain and to the point as only a child could be, Cassie proudly declared, "I made puppy pretty!"


	5. All's Well That Ends Well

**The Cassidy Chronicles**

**Five - All's Well That Ends Well**

Four pounding blows shook the solid oak doors, rattling its hinges. Following four more ferocious knocks, Kane wrenched open the door. A broad bath towel hung low around his hips. Water dripped from his hair. Bloody murder flashed in his eyes. His anger faded when he saw his brother and daughter on his porch.

"What the –"

Shoving Cassie into his brother's damp arms, Mark cut Kane off. "Just take her!"

Cassie appeared perplexed, but remained silent. She was more concerned with keeping her cape.

"What happened?" asked Kane.

"What happened? _What happened?_ The kid stickered my dog! I don't know how I'm going to get 'em off! Shave him… Pluck him… Ice cubes… I don't know." Mark looked his brother up and down. "And where the hell are your clothes?"

Kane replied, "Elsewhere." He tilted his head to the side. "And did you just use 'sticker' as a verb?"

Ever the monkey-see, monkey-do, Cassie's head tilted, too. "Can I keep this?" She was referring to the towel tied around her neck.

The double head-tilt threw Mark even further off the deep end. He rushed off the porch, hands tossed in the air so he wouldn't pull his hair out.

Kane closed the door. As big and bad as his brother presented himself, the man could not handle a four year old. Kissing the top of his daughter's pretty blonde head, Kane said, "You're just like your Daddy, Cass. Can't leave you anywhere. Let's put on your _Beauty and the Beast_ DVD." That would give him another two hours of Chris' attention. Hopefully, the musical numbers would drown out any… non-PG noises.

Super Cassie was in complete agreement. She loved the little teacup. As she fluffed out her cape, one question pressed on Cassie's mind. "Papa?" She gazed lovingly up at Kane. "Can we visit Uncle again tomorrow?"

**END**


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